Are you a good conversationalist? What makes someone a good conversationalist?
Being agood conversationalist is important in every context, be it in business,
social, or dating.你是不是一名好的健谈者？什么能让你变得健谈呢？无论在何种情况下，作为一名好的健谈者都是非常重要的，无论是商业、还是社交或是约会。下面是我们用到谈话中永不过时的几条原则：
Be genuinely interested in the person.
Who is this person? What’s on his/her mind? What does he/she enjoy doing?
What motivateshim/her in life? These are the questions I have for every
single person I meet.
Such genuine interest, not an artificial one, is essential to making a
conversation fly. If youare not interested in the other person, then why
speak to him/her to begin with? Move on tosomeone you really want to talk
to. Life is too short to be spent doing things you don’t like.
Focus on the positives.关注正能量
Which means rather than talk about past grievances, opt for a discussion of
future goals.Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table this
morning, talk about that movieyou are looking forward to watch later in the
evening. It’s okay to talk about “negative” topics(read: topics that trigger negative emotions) once in a while, but only when
you feel it is okaywith the other party and when it has a specific purpose (e.g.,
to get to know the other personbetter or to bond with the person).
Ask purposeful questions.
Questions elicit answers. The kind of questions you ask will steer the
direction of theconversation. To have a meaningful conversation with the
other person, ask meaningfulquestions. Choose questions like, “What drives
you in life?”, “What are your goals for the nextyear?” and “What inspired
you to make this change?” over “What did you do yesterday?” and“What are
you going to do later?”.
Give and take.
Sometimes people say pretty weird stuff during conversations. For example,
a criticalcomment here and there, a distasteful remark, and a bad joke.
Don’t judge them for thosecomments; treat these blurts as Freudian slips.
Usually I just laugh or shrug it off; it makes forfunny conversation banter.